We often treat mental or physical health as something we should be able to possess rather than a growth process. For people living with persistent, ongoing pain or illness, like depression, auto immune diseases, PTSD, migraines, nerve pain, Long Covid, and many other conditions, this belief can be especially hard. Not only is chronic pain or illness isolating at times as it can impact relationships, finances, family life and recreation, but it can feel like you are failing at possessing the balanced health and recovery promised by modern medicine or therapies.
There also really isn’t a great word that adequately describes the experience of pain or illness that is persistent over the long or short haul. I don’t really like the label chronic, I prefer ongoing. However, neither of those words captures very well the very real and important shifts, nuances and fluctuations of life between flare ups, acute phases, growth, change and connection that can occur. Ongoing does not necessarily mean static and unchanging.
It’s scary for humans to acknowledge that illness and pain don’t just go away or can’t always be fixed quickly and easily. And yet so many of us, are living this reality in a wide variety of ways. It’s actually deeply a part of being human. I’ve got my own challenges; maybe you do too. I’ve witnessed and supported others in my family with them as well. I can’t unsee the cognitive dissonance between what society promises about health and abilities in life and what people are actually living.
I imagine this propensity is likely tied to the way our society presents ability and health as binaries (able/disabled, healthy/sick). The often unspoken but very present myth that if we do the right things, health and wellness is a state we will acheive. Sure, eating well, movement, supports, treatments, therapies and strategies matter enormously. They can definitely influence our experience. That influence is important. Sometimes even more important for people living with ongoing pain or illness. Sometimes they’re life changing. I definitely witness this profound change in clients in my own therapy practice. But these actions and therapies don’t give us full control over our bodies and they can’t promise that pain or illness will disappear completely. Many people, maybe you too, are wrestling with the uncertainty of the very human experience of ongoing pain or illness while living ordinary life and navigating relationships
I wrote the poem below inspired by and dedicated to people in my personal and professional life living with significant, persistent mental or physical illness and pain. It holds two truths: living with ongoing or chronic pain is hard and that hardship does not negate your value or capacity for growth.
Truth
No one wants chronic pain
but tons of people live with Her.
Live in this world that sees Her existence as failure:
failure of science, faith, character and self care.
Health is a commodity that can be bought and sold.
But chronic pain says “No! You can’t fix everything!”
Sometimes life is painful and still goes on.
Not because we are deficient
or because every pain has some kind of lesson for us,
but because life often finds a way.
The way can be awkward and shitty
heavy, hard and desperate.
Like a tree growing crooked, stunted or planted on rock,
we might be unbalanced,
unpredictably and uneasily weathering heavy storms.
But we are here and our roots are growing
straining to find nutrients,
holding the soil
cleaning the air
our branches giving shade and shelter.
Both challenge and growth are true.
©2026 Liz Garrison. All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce or distribute this poem without express written permission.
I’m a Social Worker, Psychotherapist, who supports people living with a wide variety of persistent and ongoing pain or illness. If you’re looking for support to develop strategies and work toward your own growth, feel free to reach out.
